When I was 15 I got my girlfriend pregnant. [Read more…]
Yesterday Maclean’s Magazine broke a story about a woman claiming to be Senator Mike Duffy’s unacknowledged daughter. Other media outlets are – predictably – referring to this woman as his “love child” and Duffy himself is saying that the story is inaccurate and is a 30 year old story.
First off, let me say that I think “love child” while it is used as a pejorative term is a term that we really should be applying to all children. Who wouldn’t want to be a child of love? [Read more…]
This was the question posed by Sun Media “journalist” Faith Goldy to a woman standing near to me at the anti-choice “March for Life” last week. I was participating in the pro-choice presence as I do every year. Goldy was working her way along the line asking confrontational questions and pushing buttons. Often they were based on incorrect information or false assumptions. Others, like the question she asked about legalizing rape were ridiculous and designed to elicit outrage.
I fell for her interview style. I was unprepared when she came to interview me. She jumped from question to question and each one was argumentative and often ignored what I had previously said. I did a poor job explaining why I was there and why I am pro-choice because my brain’s first reaction to every question was “WHAT?” I didn’t do as I should have and rejected the premise of her questions or take a deep breath before responding to her. Luckily I have this handy blog and can write the response I will give the next time I run into her or any other such troll.
Fatherhood vs. Being a Dad
My father had a little sculpture of a boy and his dad standing by a tree and “Any man can be a father, it takes a special man to be a Dad” was written on the base. I first became a father when I was a teenager to twins that we placed for adoption. Those kids are now 22 years old and I am not, nor have I ever been their dad. I know a little about who they are today. I also know that other than my biological role I have played no role in who they have become.
I became a Dad for the first time six and a half years ago and in a matter of months I will become a dad for the third time. [Read more…]
It is interesting how memory works. Sometimes memories are powerful and pop-up at unexpected times. Sometimes they come unbidden and other times more consciously on specific dates. Sometimes we just forget. In this particular case, I forgot.
Twenty-two years ago yesterday I became a father for the first time. Until Laura reminded me last night, I had forgotten that it was June 5th and the significance of that date in my life. It’s not like I really forgot my kids birthday. Thomas and Jennifer (no longer their first names) are genetically my kids, but I haven’t seen them since they were 10 days old. I was a teenager and my girlfriend at the time and I decided to place them for adoption. I’ve written and spoken about the whole experience many times in the past and I am not going to repeat it here. If you are interested in the story, you can listen to the radio interview I did on the subject.
So June 5th is a memory marker for me. It is fading with time. I think that happens when you find peace with your memories.