One week ago, my dad died.
He was laughing and joking with a nurse at the nursing home where he was undergoing rehabilitation for a stroke he had in the fall. One week ago he was joking around and the next he wasn’t. Not a bad way to go really.
My partner and I spent most of the past week in Pennsylvania where he lived sorting out his affairs and arranging for his cremation.
After a week of sorting out logistics and his affairs ten hours from our home, which also corresponded with my final week in my job. It has been a week of farewells and logistics. I haven’t had time to process all the emotions associated with losing my dad and saying goodbye to my longtime work colleagues.
Now I am crashing.
My relationship was complicated as I expect all parent-child relationships are. I am still figuring out how I will remember him and how I feel and that will take some time. I also need to help my kids figure out how they feel.
I do know one thing. I didn’t see my dad that often. He always gave great hugs when he was leaving.
I would really like to have another hug from my dad.
I miss him already.