Fat-Shamed by a Toddler

 

It is Hallowe’en plus 17 days and in those 17 days I may have consumed some of the kids’ candy. In that time I have noticed that my pants were starting to feel a little more snug. It has been many months since I was last at the gym. I’m not really sure how long exactly… I had started thinking that it was time to go back. Then this weekend my 13 month old was sitting beside me on the couch and examining me. She was playing with the hair on my arm and then looking up my t-shirt sleeve – I guess to see what was up there exactly. Then she pulled up the bottom of my shirt to see what was under thereand she found my belly and my belly button, which was apparently the jackpot. She decided to play peek-a-boo with my belly button and each time she pulled up my shirt she was excited to discover that my belly button was still there.

While she was playing that game, I was noticing that there was a certain amount of give to my belly when she leaned on it. I also noticed that my belly button itself was somewhat larger than it was not so long ago.

I have carried extra weight for much of my life and most of that has been on my torso. I have successfully reduced my weight and fat content on a couple of occasions in recent years by paying more attention to what I am eating and incorporating more physical activity into my day.

It is important to me to be healthy, most particularly so I can play with my kids and be around for them as long as possible. I am generally in good shape although the amount of insulation I carry varies by time of year and my associated willpower. I snack more than I should and my body responds accordingly.

I spent many summers more or less hiding my upper body because I was uncomfortable with my squishy and somewhat (ok, very) hairy body. In the past five or ten years I have come to accept that this is who I am and I have more important things to focus on than my summer aesthetics. That said, those feelings of embarrassment about the state of my body came back when my daughter was sinking her hands into my belly fat.

So, this morning at 5:30 am, I was back at the gym for the first time in months and I have sworn off Hallowe’en candy. I figure this gives me about a month to drop some pounds and make space for the christmas chocolate!